May 9 — Howard Gray died

Wednesday May 9   “it is more important to be grateful for your love . . . ”

Howard Gray’s unexpected death stunned many people.  Mutual friends wrote me and we reminded one another of the wisdom and kindness he brought to his listening.   These conversations brought to mind women and men who welcomed me and helped me welcome the world,  mentored me deep into my adulthood. Howard was surely one.

Once, many years ago we were talking about the demands of loving another adult and of letting her/his love take hold in my life.   I have never forgotten one Howard sentence, one of the wisest teachings about love ever.  I’ve tried to abide by this wisdom ever since.

“It is more important to be grateful for your love than to manage your behavior within that love”

In his one-on-one conversations as well as in countless talks with groups Howard counseled courage:  “Risk the loves that are given into your life, on good days and hard days; risk it and be grateful.”   Thank you, Howard,   I miss  you.

 

john sj

Today’s post:  Denise Levertov

Prayer for Revolutionary Love

That a woman not ask a man to leave meaningful work to follow her
That a man not ask a woman to leave meaningful work to follow him.
That no one try to put Eros in bondage
But that no one put a cudgel in the hands of Eros.
That our loyalty to one another and our loyalty to our work
not be set in false conflict.
That our love for each other give us love for each other’s work
That our love for each other’s work give us love for one another.
That our love for each other’s work give us love for one another.
That our love for each other give us love for each other’s work.
That our love for each other, if need be,
give way to absence.  And the unknown.
That we endure absence, if need be,
without losing our love for each other.
Without closing our doors to the unknown.

Denise Levertov         1923 – 1997

Howard Gray, SJ        1930 – 2018

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