{"id":2912,"date":"2019-02-10T00:00:54","date_gmt":"2019-02-10T05:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/mission-and-identity\/?p=2912"},"modified":"2019-11-11T09:01:38","modified_gmt":"2019-11-11T14:01:38","slug":"connie-de-biase-csj-soul-friend-of-40-years-died-this-date-in-brentwood-long-island-d-feb-10-2017-c-615-pm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/2019\/02\/10\/connie-de-biase-csj-soul-friend-of-40-years-died-this-date-in-brentwood-long-island-d-feb-10-2017-c-615-pm\/","title":{"rendered":"Connie de Biase, csj, soul friend of 40 years, died this date in Brentwood Long Island, d Feb 10, 2017, c. 6:15 pm"},"content":{"rendered":"

February 10, 2019 \u00a0\u2013\u00a0\u00a0\u201ca mutual commitment to noticing\u201d<\/strong>
\nOver 4 decades of kinship, Connie de Biase and I partnered in a mutual commitment to noticing. \u00a0 Now that she\u2019s left us, \u00a0I miss her most on Saturday mornings when driving into center city to buy new baked bread. \u00a0 \u00a0While I drove home, we would talk about the condition of our inner lives. \u00a0Through Connie\u2019s last year, our talk was more brave and sad as she recognized her growing diminished, her grief at losing the life in Madison that she loved and lived so gracefully. \u00a0Ignatius calls such talk paying attention to \u201cinner disturbances,\u201d \u00a0both consolations and desolations. \u00a0\u00a0Noticing.<\/p>\n

originally posted January 23, 2017 <\/u><\/strong>(@ 2 weeks before she died)
\n<\/u>Perhaps this Denise Levertov poem came to mind because I flew into JFK Saturday, braved Long Island\u2019s expressways with their too tight turns matched by slightly-too-narrow lanes, to spend time with my dying soul friend, Sr. Consuela de Biase, csj. \u00a0 Connie has become frail, like the ancient poet in today\u2019s poem. \u00a0She misses nothing, I realized, but you have to lean in close to hear; \u00a0worn with fatigue, she whispers, and pauses to breathe. \u00a0We visited three times \u00a0(c. 90 minutes,; \u00a025 minutes; and 4 or 5 at the end when we said goodbye before I headed back to JFK early Sunday). \u00a0I love it that the 40 mile drive on the parkway was wearing; \u00a0it reminds me that those miles and our 3 conversations are of a piece with decades of mutual listening, the fabric of life with Connie.<\/p>\n

Have a blest week.<\/p>\n

john sj<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s Post \u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>Sunday, February 1o, 2019\u00a0 – – \u00a0<\/strong>\u201cIn Love\u201d \u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0 Denise Levertov writes of an ancient poet whose frail strengths remind me of Connie. \u00a0 Perhaps this wintry but hardly arctic morning might tempt you to open your window or step outside so you can read \u201cIn Love\u201d while breathing a little.<\/p>\n

Over gin and tonic (an unusual treat) the ancient poet
\nhaltingly \u2014not because mind and memory
\nfalter, but because language, now,
\nweary from so many years
\nof intense partnership,
\ncomes stiffly to her summons,
\nwith unsure footing \u2014
\nrecounts, for the first time in my hearing, each step
\nof that graceful sarabande, her husband\u2019s
\nlast days, last minutes, fifteen years ago.<\/p>\n

She files her belongings freestyle, jumbled
\nin plastic bags \u2014 poems, old letters, ribbons,
\nold socks, an empty picture frame;
\nbut keeps her fifty years of marriage wrapped, flawless,
\nin something we sense and almost see \u2014
\ndiaphanous as those saris one can pass through a wedding ring.<\/p>\n

Denise Levertov \u00a01923 \u2013 1997<\/p>\n

Consuela \u00a0(Connie)
\nAugust 2006<\/p>\n

Laughing<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Smiling<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Contemplative<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

February 10, 2019 \u00a0\u2013\u00a0\u00a0\u201ca mutual commitment to noticing\u201d Over 4 decades of kinship, Connie de Biase and I partnered in a mutual commitment to noticing. \u00a0 Now that she\u2019s left us, \u00a0I miss her most on Saturday mornings when driving … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":139,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11641],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2912"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/139"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2912"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3246,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2912\/revisions\/3246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}