{"id":3350,"date":"2020-02-10T00:00:40","date_gmt":"2020-02-10T05:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/?p=3350"},"modified":"2020-02-10T10:15:55","modified_gmt":"2020-02-10T15:15:55","slug":"february-10-a-gift-for-hospitality-connie-dibiase-csj-d-feb-10-2017-c-615-pm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/2020\/02\/10\/february-10-a-gift-for-hospitality-connie-dibiase-csj-d-feb-10-2017-c-615-pm\/","title":{"rendered":"February 10 – “a gift for hospitality” Connie DiBiase csj. (d. Feb 10, 2017, c. 6:15 pm)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Monday, February 10, 2020 \u00a0\u2013\u00a0\u00a0\u201ca mutual commitment to noticing\u201d<\/p>\n

Over 4 decades of kinship, Connie de Biase and I lived our way into a mutual commitment to noticing. She died in \u00a0Brentwood Long Island 3 years ago today. \u00a0Since she left us, \u00a0I miss her most on Saturday mornings when driving into center city to buy loaves of fresh-baked bread. \u00a0 I would call Connie after I\u2019d placed my shopping bag on the passenger side. \u00a0As I drove home, we talked about the condition of our inner lives. \u00a0Through Connie\u2019s last months, our talk became \u00a0more brave and sad as she recognized her growing diminishment, her grief at losing the life in Madison that she loved and lived so gracefully. \u00a0Ignatius calls conversations like this a way of paying attention to \u201cinner disturbances, both consolations and desolations. \u201d<\/p>\n

first written and posted January 23, 2017 (c. 2 weeks before she died)
\n<\/u><\/strong>\u201cPerhaps today\u2019s Denise Levertov poem came to mind because of what\u00a0happened in me as I flew into JFK Saturday and braved \u00a0the Long Island\u2019s expressway with its too-tight turns matched by slightly-too-narrow lanes. \u00a0I\u2019d come to spend time with my dying soul friend, Sr. Consuela de Biase, csj. \u00a0 Connie has become frail, like the ancient poet in today\u2019s poem. \u00a0She misses nothing, I came to realize, but you have to lean in close to hear; \u00a0worn with fatigue, she whispers, and pauses to breathe. \u00a0We visited three times \u00a0(c. 90 minutes, c. 25 minutes, and 4 or 5 \u00a0minutes early the next morning when we said goodbye before I headed back to JFK). \u00a0I love it that the 40 mile drive on the parkway was wearing; \u00a0it reminds me that those miles and our 3 conversations are of a piece with decades of mutual listening, the fabric of Connie\u2019s life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Denise Levertov writes of an ancient poet whose frail strengths remind me of my friend. \u00a0 This Monday morning, chilly and gray but still alive with the promises with which February can surprise us. \u00a0Who knows?\u00a0 The poet and the morning might tempt you to open your window or step outside so you can read \u201cIn Love\u201d while bathed in its beauty, and breathe a little too.<\/p>\n

Have a blest week,<\/p>\n

john sj<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s Post\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cIn Love\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Over gin and tonic (an unusual treat) the ancient poet
\nhaltingly \u2014not because mind and memory
\nfalter, but because language, now,
\nweary from so many years
\nof intense partnership,
\ncomes stiffly to her summons,
\nwith unsure footing \u2014
\nrecounts, for the first time in my hearing, each step
\nof that graceful sarabande, her husband\u2019s
\nlast days, last minutes, fifteen years ago.<\/p>\n

She files her belongings freestyle, jumbled
\nin plastic bags \u2014 poems, old letters, ribbons,
\nold socks, an empty picture frame;
\nbut keeps her fifty years of marriage wrapped, flawless,
\nin something we sense and almost see \u2014
\ndiaphanous as those saris one can pass through a wedding ring.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Denise Levertov \u00a01923 \u2013 1997
\nConnie laughing, \u00a0smiling, \u00a0contemplative \u00a0August 2006<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Monday, February 10, 2020 \u00a0\u2013\u00a0\u00a0\u201ca mutual commitment to noticing\u201d Over 4 decades of kinship, Connie de Biase and I lived our way into a mutual commitment to noticing. She died in \u00a0Brentwood Long Island 3 years ago today. \u00a0Since she … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":139,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11641],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3350"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/139"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3350"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3351,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3350\/revisions\/3351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sites.udmercy.edu\/poetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}