September 4 – Goodbyes

Thursday, September 4 –     “She left us in the early morning”

For someone dear who dies too young, grief brings with it deep fatigue.   Some of us find ourselves saying goodbye, learning how long it takes and how hard it wears on us.  A close friend and fellow scholar from Stockholm, Nina Wormbs, wrote this contemplative poem early this August, finding words for a different goodbye, with her grandmother and soul friend.

Have a blest day.

 

john sj

Today’s Post  

When?

I woke up at 7.15,

rose after 20 odd minutes,

had tea and a simple toast,

prepared to visit her again.

But the phone rang.

 

She left us in the early morning.

No one knows precisely when,

because she died alone.

It was her wish, her only wish

to die at home.

Even though the care she needed

could not be given there.

 

I think about those last hours,

having left her late the night before.

Was she in pain, was she asleep?

Why do I plague myself with wondering.

Is it even possible not to meet death alone.

 

She had longed for it.

The end was welcome.

After 102 years, she was ready.

 

As time will pass, these hours will fade,

and years and lives will step in front.

She gave me her time, and I gave her mine.

But her place in me is timeless.

 

Her belly jumped whenever she laughed,

just like mine.

I miss her.

 

Nina Wormbs, —  August 10th 2014

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